The new models of iPhone - images of which were released September 7th 2022 - are huge.
Sure, it has some great features, such as the ability to send an emergency SOS via satellite from any above-ground location on the planet, but it’s sheer size makes it more usable as a solid building material than anything you’d want to carry around in your pocket. Imagine iPhones as lego bricks for the uber rich.
We’re not that into phone reviews here at The Crow. We, frankly, don’t care that much - to the extent that we use our OnePlus Nord as what is essentially a slimmed down tablet, and an old Motorola Razr for SMS and voice.
But we took time out of our otherwise busy schedule to convey our impressions of the latest and greatest offering from the clever chaps at Cupertino.
For The Crow, as a 6’4 male with proportionate hands, the iPhone 14 and iPhone 14 Plus are probably fine to use (even if they’re a bit heavy on the pocket in two different ways), but for the hand model, that is not, in any way, a comfortably usable device.
Images can say more than words can. The iPhone 14 comes in at 6.1 inches, while the plus model is a mighty 6.7 inches. Neither is the biggest phone around, but they’re thick and… just look at them, then compare them to the original iPhone, which could be operated with one hand by a child - or by a creepy old man who refuses to shower.
Imagine that guy from 127 Hours, but in 2022. He has an iPhone 14 with the capability of sending an SOS SMS by satellite, but only one hand (because the other one is stuck in a rock). He can’t reach the app icon for the satellite SMS app. He dies because the space in his pocket which could otherwise hold a handy knife was taken up with six tonnes of iPhone.
The iPhone is so big and so solid it deserves it’s own unit of measurement when news outlets are trying to put tragedies, atrocities and otherwise large things into terms the everyman can understand.
These measurements of muchness frequently include double decker buses, Olympic swimming pools, Wales (the place), whales (the large sea mammal), and rugby pitches.
The new Iphone 14 Plus belongs there, too.
The blue whale is a big animal, weighing as much as three iPhone 14 Pluses. Every day, an area of the Amazon equivalent to 10 iPhone Pluses, is lost to illegal forestry. Britain’s biggest ever fatberg - the size of a single iPhone 14 Plus - was uncovered in drains under the Houses of Parliament.
The cameras look good though - almost good enough to resolve an object the size of eight iPhone 14s on the surface of the moon.
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